One of the most important things for a baby is to establish the right sleep association.  After working with so many Moms, one of the keys to a happy baby, is making sure that they are getting the right amount of sleep and that they have the right sleep associations.  So, what is a sleep association?  It is where and what your baby needs to fall asleep.

So, from Day 1, I highly recommend swaddling your baby only for sleep.  Newborns sleep an average of 16 hours, so they’re going to be swaddled a lot of the time they’re not being changed, fed or bathed.  Swaddling helps a newborn’s memory and it triggers the same feeling that they felt, physically, in the Mother’s womb.  It is tight, snug and therefore gives them a sense of security.

When a baby is swaddled, it prevents the moro reflex from being triggered.  This reflex is the automatic response when a baby is startled.  Their arms go up and the crying begins.  By having their arms snug, tight and unable to extend, their sleep is not interrupted.  For newborns, I do recommend having them swaddled with their legs brought up.  They will appear to be in a little ball, but it will resemble the exact position, when in the womb.  After 3 weeks, Moms can begin just swaddling the arms.  They can be criss-crossed over the chest or arms at the sides of the body.  Either position is fine, the key is not allowing the Moro reflex to be triggered.

Another important sleep association is where the baby is when they fall asleep, how they fall asleep and where they sleep.  This is so important!

Getting Your Baby To Sleep

From Day 1, swaddle your baby.  It should be a tight enough swaddle that they will not be able to break out of, but still allows for plenty of breathing room.  I recommend investing in a swaddled with velcro for sleep.  Don’t get caught up in expensive swaddlers.  If it has velcro, there is no way baby is getting out, so find an affordable one, and go with it!

Next, there is nothing wrong with holding your baby in a swaddle.  I recommend walking around with them instead of rocking them in a rocking chair.  Both are movement, but the reason I don’t recommend the rocking chair is for safety reasons.  Many a Mom, has rocked herself to sleep and yes, dropped her baby.  So, ditch the chair and walk around instead, keeping Mom and baby safe.  Avoid contraptions like swings and bouncers when it comes time for the baby to go to sleep.

Keep A Schedule, Babies Thrive On It

I can’t stress enough the importance of keeping track of your day.  I know it’s hard.  You’re literally working 24 hours a day, you’re exhausted and just need some time to yourself.  If you get a schedule going, I promise you’ll get your own time and you’ll have a happy, resilient child!  You can use an app, your Fitbit or phone to set alarms, pick what works for you, but keep track of feeding and sleeping times throughout the day.

Once you know your baby’s sleeping time is coming, avoid the bouncer or swing.  I know many Mommas that use them for sleep because it’s easy.  They just leave their baby there after they fall asleep, but when it comes time to sleep regression, all of that will go out the window and you’ll have a nightmare situation!  Whether it’s a bassinet, a crib or a baby lounger bassinet, lay down your baby while they’re still awake, but very sleepy.  If your baby is fighting it and trying to stay awake, begin the “Lub-dub” method.

The Lub-dub method is where you use your hand to gently pat your baby.  Place your hand on their chest at the rate of a slow heart beat.  Remain present by their side, but do not pick up your baby.

Once you notice that your baby has gone into a deeper sleep, put on your white noise or music. Be sure to have dim lighting.  Think of yourself, if there are bright lights on, it gets your attention and you will tend to wake up.  It is the same for your baby, so keep it dark.  It doesn’t necessarily mean getting black-out curtains or filtered bulbs, just minimize the amount of light coming in, during sleep.

Reaching Deep Sleep

The key is to have your baby in such a deep sleep, that noise is not an issue.  Here is a video of my 3 month old, while I vacuum the room.  You want to be able to be anywhere (if you have to go out) and have a baby that is fast asleep, even with a lot of noise.  So many Moms I have worked with, got caught into the trap of having no noise and a super quiet environment.  This is a nightmare because you will have a baby that creates a sleep association for silence.

Silence is unrealistic for any Mother because they have to move around in the home, clean, wash clothes, dishes, etc.  The Mother that relies on silence, will have a child that gets irregular sleep patterns.  This sleep deprivation will produce a cranky, unhappy baby that will make the Mom unhappy too because she will have a dis-regulated baby.  The idea is to create routine, which allows for good development.  Stay tuned for another post on Sleep Regression.

Things To Remember

Remember, any baby needs to fall asleep in the same location where they will wake up, in order for their sleep association to work.  By having a baby fall asleep in a swing, but wake up in a crib, this causes confusion.  Put yourself in their shoes.  How would you like to fall asleep in your bed and wake up in your car?  Exactly.

The Lub-dub method should always be used throughout any wake-up response that is too early.  When patting your baby, do not talk, simply shush your baby or speak very softly.  There’s an amazing Mom that has done every Mom the favor of recording 8 hours of shushing on Youtube.  Find it and play it for your baby if you decide not to use music or white noise. It saves your breath and what’s best is…it works!